Some said he was a crazy man. Others said it was because his mother didn't change his diaper often enough. Still others claimed that he once fell into a manure pile head-first, and had turned blue from lack of oxygen before being rescued. What ever the reason, Fee Charles Dump's life would forever be linked to feces. His mother told the story of how he would reach in his diaper as a toddler and finger paint on the wall with his feces smeared little hands. This sort of thing continued. "We were poor farm folks and he didn't have many toys. He would make little people and animals to play with out of the manure in the dung heap by the barn like some kids make things out of clay.", said his Mother. Perhaps this gives us some insight into why feces were such an important aspect of his life. He went to divinity school, and became a minister. Soon he had a church of his own. Still, something seemed lacking. Then a bout of constipation changed everything. He took some laxative and awaited results. Finally, he rushed to the outhouse.
It was in the late 1800's in New Hampshire.The rev. Fee C. Dump was sitting in his outhouse when fecal matter poured from his body in a rushing fury. This was a revelation to him, and he sat there as a new way of thinking about the world emerged from his fertile mind. It was after this when he heard that Martin Luther had nailed the "95 Theses" on the church door, and he thought that Luther had nailed 95 feces on the door, so that was what he did. This was not appreciated, and he was thrown out of the church, so he started his own church, the Freewill, Hope, and Bowel Movement Church. At first they were called the "Dumpers" in his honor, but that name is not used much anymore except by one small branch of the church. Eventually he did write down some beliefs. Here are a few of his credos:
Eventually Rev. Dump decided that one should as he said, "Partake of the feces." He started to publicly eat feces, and he urged members of the congregation to do likewise. It was at this time that local authorities locked him up in the town jail. They released him, and he immediately went back to feces eating. He was arrested again along with other members of the church, and this time when they were allowed to leave, they packed up and moved to Kansas, a land where as Rev. Dump said, "A man can eat feces in peace." He was correct. Here the church flourished until the inventions of tractors and indoor plumbing. Many of the young people left the church at that time, so those that remained moved to Lancaster county to live among the Amish, another sect that continued to use horses and outhouses. Here they thrived. Most, however, rejected the practice of feces eating, and formed the more vigorous branches of the church. The Dumpers can be seen on Tuesdays at local farmer's markets seemingly chewing tobacco and spitting. Only the locals know that it is not tobacco that they are chewing. Rev. Dump has gone to glory now, but one can see his tombstone capped with a granite turd in a cemetery near Millersville.